Online Dating and more

Update about the mistaken phone call

2006-05-04T19:55:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm back from India and so I should share the follow up to the mistaken phone call. In my last post I explained the situation where I called a number in my phone thinking it was my friend's boyfriend, but instead it happened to be one of the lingering phone numbers from my CL adventure.

Well, I got back and there was no email from the boy. Finally after I had been back for 5 days or so, I decided to email the boy. There is a little bit of a bitch in me (ok, maybe I'm lying and there is a whole lot of bitch in me from time to time) and it came out in my email.

I simply sent an email with the subject That's what I thought that said
Figured you wouldn't write back.
Regardless, hope you have a wonderful day.
Take care

Amazingly, the boy actually responded.

hey I thought you were going to contact me when you got back from your vacation?
Why so hostile..wow!

so, I found myself feeling slightly guilty and wrote the following reply

sorry. since I sent you an email saying that the ball was in your court and didn't hear from you, I figured that was it. Guess I just find it amusing that you replied to both of my CL ads (last year) and after I sent pics both times, you disappeared.
Anyway . . . I'm back. Had a wonderful time. If you're interested in hearing more about it, drop me an email or something. Pretty crazy schedule this week (playing catch up and all) and I'll be busy all weekend, because my family is coming into town, so won't have time to talk, but should have time for email.
Have a wonderful Tuesday!

If I hear back after that one, I'll be shocked enough to devote a good amount of time to this boy. haha.

I just HAD to share!

2006-04-05T08:28:00.000-04:00

Hi all,
I don't know if anyone is still checking for posts, because I've definitely dropped the ball. I do have more stories to tell and in time I will tell them. Today I leave for India though, so it'll be at least 3 weeks (probably more) til I get a chance to write again. Regardless, I thought this was too funny, so I had to share.

So, last night I tried to call one of my friends so I could arrange a time to drop off my keys with her so she can check my mail and make sure my place hasn't burnt down while I'm gone. I couldn't get ahold of her, so I decided to try calling her boyfriend. So I scroll down to his name and press the talk button. "He" answers, but it didn't really sound like him. Then "He" asks who it is. Even after telling him my name, "He" still has no clue who it is. Then I realize that I must have called one of the CL boys. So I frantically search my mind for who this boy is and if I've gotten myself into all sorts of trouble. Unfortunately, since they have the same name, I really was looking for "Him". So just as I'm trying to place "Him", "He" is also trying to place me. So "He" asked how I would know him and still hoping that it was the right guy, I told "Him" that of course I'm his girlfriend's friend (note: I used her name instead of saying his girlfriend). Shoot. Slight panic. Then I slowly realize who it is that I'm talking to. Hmmm . . . I should actually look back and see if I ever posted about him. Probably not since we never met up. Anyway, I hang up on "Him" and continue on with my phone calls. As I'm talking to my mom, "He" calls back. Obviously I'm not going to switch over to talk to this boy. Besides, I wanted to confirm who I thought it was. So when I got home, I checked my email from way back in July (when I had posted my first ad) and sure enough I was right. So I sent "Him" a quick email confirming that I did kinda know "Him" and that I figured out why "His" number is in my phone. The email I sent was a reply to the one that had "His" phone number in it. So what does "He" do? "He" calls back after getting the email. I did answer, because it was just too funny. So we talked a bit and "He" wanted to know why I had never called "Him" if "His" number was in my phone. I told "Him" that there must have been some disconnect, but I couldn't remember what. Then I mentioned that I was going to be gone for 3 weeks, so "He" told me to call when I got back. Turns out that "He" is originally from Bombay. (couldn't tell that from the picture "He" had sent back in the day). Well, after we got off the phone, I went back and looked through the email string. The last email sent was the one that I sent "Him" with my pictures in it. So I responded to "Him" via that email and said that the disconnect happened when "He" stopped replying to emails after I sent my picture. So I told "Him" that the ball was in "His" court. Should be interesting. The funny thing is that "He" responded to not just the first ad, but the second as well, not knowing that it was the same person.

Ok, just had to share. If there are further developments, I will post an update. This situation just proves why you need to very clearly distinguish what numbers are in your phone. So, I have gone through and placed a prefix of CL to all of the names I saved in my phone to use as call screening protection.

Have a wonderful month of April. I'll try to add some new stories when I return. Maybe I'll post a new ad just for the stories :o)

Special Feature : Guest Appearance by B. . .

2005-11-09T21:33:00.000-05:00

Hello Blog Lovers ... so you really want to hear my side of the story? LOL...well, here it goes.

As No.Needy (N) already mentioned,it was probably more fun getting ready for the night’s event vs. attending the actual event itself. Pretty much everything happened the way N stated ... well, up to the point where we were told to go stand in front of a guy we would be interested in meeting first. That’s where our stories differ. Differ A LOT...

For me, once we received word to go stand in front of the first guy... Everything seemed to move in slow motion... I was walking towards this tall, dark & handsome gentleman when I turned to my left and noticed N was nowhere in sight. She had vanished.

I thought, oh well, I’m a big girl, I can do this. So, I turned back to focus on what was in front of me... then, when I was just about 10 feet from this guy, this Short Thing and I mean SHORT... jumped right in front of me. If this girl was 4 foot tall, then I am a 10 foot Giant. I didn’t want to start out the night with a fight on my hands, so I just decided to move to my right and stand in front of the guy next to him (hoping I’d still get a chance to talk to my 1st Choice later)... Unfortunately, as my luck would have it... the guy that I ended up standing in front of, was the guy who started the nice friendly conversation with N & I while we were out in line, waiting to come in. Can you actually believe he thought I wanted to talk with him first? UGH!!! I was so happy when the music started and we were told to move clockwise to the next person. Sadly though... it increased the distance between me and my 1st Choice.

Can I just say there are some really interesting individuals out there? Take for instance some of the conversations I had with these guys: One guy wanted to tell me about his 10 year old nephew... and how big he was getting. (Like I knew how little he was to begin with.). Another wanted to know where my niece went... (My Niece?!?)...seems he meant the girl I came in with. I told him N was my friend and that she was probably down at the other end. He kept asking questions about her... and practically begged me to introduce the two of them at the end. (Boy that was fun). I met 3 Turkish & 1 English gentlemen. When asked if I’ve ever visited their countries... I made the mistake of saying I visited Kusadasi & London, which just sparked debates. First the Turkish don’t recognized Kusadasi as part of their country... and the guy from England asked if we Yanks knew there were other parts to England vs. just London. (Geez... if they didn’t want to know... why’d they ask?).

I started getting more enjoyment out of watching the folks around me... One lady that started out to my right, had her hands full of stuff (phone, wallet, keys, drink... etc)...she started out talking with this guy and in just a few seconds, started handing him all of her things. Then she started rooting in her purse for a cigarette. Once she had it lit... she took back her stuff. The guy was nice about it all, but said he wasn’t much into smokers. She then used a few choice words and then left him standing there all alone. That made things somewhat awkward afterwards, since I was the next person to talk with him.

Needless to say, I didn’t write anyone’s name or number down on my “Match Card”... however, can you believe...the last guy N talked to, was my 1st Choice? No kidding!! Come to find out... Short Thing... came with him and that’s why she wanted to start off with him first. Being the small world that it is...the four of us started to hang out after we found out that 1st Choice, Short Thing & N all had worked for the same company and at the same location.

1st Choice was flattered to find out that I had actually picked him as my first choice... and decided that he wanted me to ask him my questions. As N mentioned... my co-workers were really trying to get me prepped for the evening... and well... let's just say... the “Do you consider yourself a sprinter or a marathoner?” question... wasn’t really needed until then... 1st Choice laughed hysterically after I asked him the question and was kind enough to answer with, “I would consider myself a marathoner... except in the gym... where I am a sprinter”... hummmm... food for thought. :-D

It was fun hanging out with 1st Choice, Short Thing & N afterwards. (However, N wasn’t too pleased about the introduction to the guy who wanted to meet my “Niece”... but hey, paybacks are hell for going MIA in the beginning... lol) (Love ya, N) Oh... FYI... 1st Choice is a very good Dancing Charades player... long story short... he does a mean Bricklayer... lol.

As to whether or not I’d do it again... I’d have to say... Maybe. Perhaps if it was in a different environment. Some place more quiet... where they had tables set up for 2... and where the men were the ones who moved around. This place was just too noisy and too crowded. By the end of the night, I found myself hoarse.

Thanks for letting me visit. Happy Dating.

Footnote... There was a very handsome bouncer... who didn’t arrive on the scene until N and I were about to leave. (Go figure) We may just have to go back to see if he's still there some other time. ;-D

Something new . . .

2005-11-06T19:12:00.000-05:00

Hello my friends, I have a new twist tonight.

Early on a friend of mine made a crack about the online dating scene and suggested that there are plenty of other ways to meet people. So, when I saw the 4 minute speed dating opportunity, I figured I'd give it a shot. I also managed to drag a friend into it with me.

Prior to going, we did the "girly" stuff. We went shopping and got our nails done. We got ready and I ended up wearing a new top that my 9 year old sister had picked out when I went shopping on a visit home. It was a bit more exposing than I had remembered. Oh well. So, my friend (B) and I did the typical prep questions. We discussed what type of responses we may have for which type of "date". B had been prepped by her coworkers earlier in the week and the "off-the-wall" question to ask was "Do you consider you a sprinter or a marathoner?" (Stay tuned for B's account, this question was actually asked during the night).

So, B and I went to a club in DC to try this thing out. When we arrived, there was a line of people out the door waiting to get in. As we walked up, I wasn't sure we were in the right place. The people in line were not the demographic I was hoping for. But lo and behold, it was the right place. So we waited in line and as we were waiting, the guy behind us started a nice friendly conversation with us. ummm . . . yeah . . . He was NOT at all what we were looking for. White hair, glasses and (surprise, surprise) dorky! YIKES! Oh, and he had done this before a couple of times (we would soon learn that "having done this a few times" really translated into "I'm really desperate, and I don't understand why I walk away empty handed every time. You want to change my streak?") This will be an interesting night. However, the guys in front of us weren't too bad. One was Australian perhaps and the other one had the "bouncer/weight lifter" look to him. Potential. So, deep breath. :o)

We make our way into the club where we get a nametag, 2 notecards, a pen and instructions to write our name and email address at the top of both. The club seemed nice, but the evening didn't seem coordinated enough for the number of people there. We waited in line for drinks for quite some time, but having only 1 bartender left us without anything to drink. Ok, so much for that. I did make the observation that having that many straight single people in the room seemed quite odd. It was a very interesting feeling to be there knowing that everyone is on the market and looking. Then it was about to begin . . . Guys were instructed to create a circle around the perimeter of the room with their backs towards the wall. Girls were instructed to congregate in the center of the circle and to make their way to a guy they were interested in meeting. We made our way to the center and when I looked up, I realized in horror that the guy who had been behind us in line was way too close for comfort, so I booked it to the other end of the room to avoid the guy. Well, I look behind me and B is half way across the room. But she doesn't come to join me. Ok . . . Well, you will find that I made the better choice.

So there I found myself standing in front of this guy I had found attractive early in the night, which was slightly awkward. We were simply standing there. Then one of the organizers came and moved me to some other guy. So much for that. And, this one was one of the dorky ones. GREAT! After our 4 minutes of talking, the DJ started playing music which signaled the girls to move to their right one spot. It's a very awkward thing, because you are standing RIGHT next to people on both sides and you get caught at the end of a conversation and you have to manage to turn your attention to the person next to the guy you were talking to. Definitely not an easy task. But in this time, your 4 minutes have started. So I had a couple dorky guys to begin with that were nice enough, but no thanks. Then my luck turned a bit. I had a couple of cute guys with interesting things to say. (I can't say that I remember most of what was said, because it was soooo overwhelming, but I do remember being interested.) I met a number of attorneys and a number of defense employees (some government and others contractors). The attorneys tended to be the "loser types". One guy could have been interesting, but way too dorky. Short guy, striped shirt, glasses and VERY socially awkward. I found myself struggling to get the guy to talk. By that point in time, we had had about 8 or so dates already and he was at a loss for words. I couldn't handle the difficulty in communicating with the guy. Every other conversation went smoothly, but not with him. My luck, he must have liked me, because I spent some time avoiding him throughout the night. I think he got the hint though. Another one that scared me off was a guy who asked me to tell him something unique about me and when I asked him to do the same, he told me that he has 4 cats. Yes, FOUR cats! Ummm . . . YIKES! But it's ok, because he has 3 rooms. 1 for him and 2 for the cats. Can you say "old cat (wo)man"? No thanks! One of the guys I talked to that evening happened to be the "bouncer/weight-lifting" type who was ahead of us in line. He was pretty cool. He made the list. I actually wrote down several numbers of potential matches. I figured that it couldn't hurt. What happens is that the notecards are collected at the end of the evening and you are notified of any matches by the organizers at a later date. Honestly though, I don't even remember the names of most of the guys I spoke with let alone what they said, so even if there were a match I don't think I'd remember the guy. oops! :o) My last date of the evening was quite attractive and seemed really cool, so I was able to continue the conversation past the 4 minutes. Turns out that we have mutual friends. He started working with some former coworkers of mine, so I may actually see the guy again. B and I ended up hanging out with him and this girl (a coworker who probably started in that office right after I left) that he had come with for most of the rest of the night. They seem like fun people.

Well, just after the dating ended and B had joined me talking to my new friend, this guy comes up to join us and interrupts our conversation so that he can meet me. Ummmm . . . YUCK! I wanted to kill her for introducing me! So she pulled me away to the bathroom after I had pinched her enough times. Later in the evening while enjoying the open bar (or rather, battling the open bar), I did manage to run into a couple guys I had talked to. When we made our way upstairs, B & I actually found our new friends talking to the "bouncer/weight-lifting" type, so the 5 of us hung out for a while. It was a good time. I enjoyed the experience. Would I do it again? Probably not.

Number 1 question of the evening was : "so, is this your first time doing this type of thing?"

Ok, stay tuned for B's version of the evening (much less rosy-colored than mine).

Plenty more has happened . . .

2005-10-24T20:14:00.000-04:00

in the meantime. Sorry for the dry spell, but a lot has been going on. On the dating front, I'm starting to slow down. So unfortunately, the postings will reflect that. I do still have some stories to recap so the entertainment isn't completely dried up.

Last Wednesday I gave yet another guy a chance. The second ad didn't produce nearly as much quality as the first. Why that is, I'm not sure. I don't know if I was more lax or what. But if I do recall, I was pretty into Navy boy at the time and was really just looking to the ad for entertainment. Hmmm . . . that actually explains a lot now that I think about it. Anyway . . .

So, Wednesday night I agreed to meet up with one of the guys from the second ad. We had only written a couple emails back and forth. Something like 1 each per week since I put out my ad. So not a whole lot of correspondence. So when he suggested meeting up for dinner, I agreed. Why not. I had weeded out the other guys, so might as well give this guy a chance too. Ummm . . . yeah . . . bit of a mistake. Luckily I see everything as a learning experience and nothing as a regret.

I went to meet this guy in Pentagon City so he could have the convenience of using the metro. I drove in and parked at my friend's apartment building and hung out with her for a bit before meeting up with this guy at 8pm! Little late for my liking, but whatever. I went to meet this guy and he managed to walk right past me as I was waiting outside. I saw him walk in and remember thinking that I hope it's not him. This guy was a couple inches shorter than me and definitely had a case of SMS (Short Man syndrome). You could tell by the way that he walked. And he decided to grow a full beard. Yeah, not a big fan of full beards. Makes me think of a mountain man or something.

Well, the guy comes back outside and I walk up to him and introduce myself. Then we head inside for dinner. We ate at Chevy's. It turns out that he knew one of the servers there. The server seemed like an incredibly interesting person. He was flaming, but seemed like a person I could talk to for hours. He definitely managed to put a smile on my face. Unfortunately for me, my "date" was much less interesting. We sit down and look over the menu and our server comes to take our drink orders. As the server approaches our table, this guy actually pulls out a coupon!!!!!! A WHAT!?!?! you may be saying to yourself. Yeah, a coupon. Ok, so everyone knows that I tend to be a cost conscious type of person and would appreciate the frugalness of the gesture had it not been our FIRST DATE! I could not believe it! But I filed it in the back of my head and gave him 1 strike. Finally we order and start chatting. He did a bit of complaining about work and the "politics" associated with government work. Ummm . . . let's think about this. Politics are obviously going to be associated with government work! I rebutted stating that there are politics in everything really and he reemphasized how bad it is in DC. Strike 2. Why another strike just because he pointed out the politics in DC? Because he emphasized his disgust for it. It's a fact of life and without any really well founded argument, I don't see the point in bringing it up. We moved on and he asked me about Germany, which was a good idea, but I didn't feel like telling him about it. I guess I didn't want to share it with him and I'm not exactly sure why. Of course, the fact that I had gotten rather bad news just prior to the date didn't help. Then he interjected some stuff about the time he spent in Japan which was interesting, but he didn't bother to truly develop the story. And I wasn't motivated enough to ask more questions. At some point he started talking about his family. He mentioned that his sister was older and married with kids and made a side comment about how his brother-in-law was the same age he is now when he got married. Ok, big ole strike 3!!! Do NOT bring up marriage on the first date! Especially do not imply that you should be married already. Sorry, I'm not looking to get married tomorrow or anything. And I don't want to be in a situation where there is pressure to get married. No thanks! When the bill comes, the guy actually lays it open on the table and I think, are you really going to expect me to pay after you've used a coupon? Does that make my meal full price and the discount is on yours? Then he looks at me and is like, oh, the coupon made the second meal $3, so don't worry about it. I didn't even get a drink. You better pay the darn $3. Strike 4! He did, however, walk me to my car which would have been nice if I had liked the guy even a bit. Of course, it was a decent walk to my car too. Grr! Figures! He took public transportation and was looking up bus schedules as we walked to my car. He lived within 10-15 minutes of where we were, but I couldn't bring myself to offer him a ride home. I did offer a ride to the bus stop though. Even though it wasn't far away at all. Oh, and on top of it all, he had a "pre-strike" against him, because he's a cat person. Not a big fan of dating someone with a cat. Especially because I think the cat is a remnant of the last relationship he was in. No thanks!

So, yeah. He was the last guy I was talking to from my second ad. So that's no more. Now I think I'll just take a couple months off before I consider posting another ad. We'll see. Still more stories to come, so stay tuned for a bit longer at least assuming that you all haven't gotten too frustrated and given up on me already :o)

Happy reading!

Here's your smile for today

2005-10-15T18:12:00.000-04:00

Another one of those differences between men and women things . . .

A Female's Prayer
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep.

One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long.

One who thinks before he speaks.
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed.
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door.
Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind.
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.

Amen

I think that covers a significant amount of it, don't you?
Now, for the "other" version . . .

A Male's Prayer
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.

This doesn't rhyme, but I don't give a shit.

Amen

Yep. That covers it.

Harry Potter Follow Up

2005-10-09T16:23:00.000-04:00

One of my friends keeps referring to the guy from the last post as Harry Potter, so here's the follow up.

In my last post I found myself debating whether to see the boy again or not. I felt as if I should give him another chance since he may just have been a bit nervous. Well, after this email . . .

I had a great time last night and hope you did as well!

Well, as a matter of fact . . .

Sorry I was tired and had to ditch,

Thank God you were tired! I wasn't sure how to get out of it.

but then I am here at work at 6:30 (what was I thinking).

Ummm . . . good question.

I found you very nice, and easy to talk with

yikes! That was a situation when you felt comfortable.

- not that I really needed to tell you that.

Actually you do need to tell me that, because I didn't get that feeling.

Anyway, I had fun and am hoping we can hangout again sometime... if you're daring enough to try my frozen skillet dinners

OH NO YOU DIDN'T! Did you really just invite me over for dinner and offer to make me a frozen dinner!?! Man, now that's an offer that's going to be really hard to pass up.

I do live right around the corner from you work :)

Darn it. I was trying to forget about that. Man, the boy knows EXACTLY where I work!

Well, I am sure I am in for another hectic day - they always are.

That's true for most of us.

Actually, I do like my job, I'm not really complaining about it, but you have to gripe about something, right?

Ummm sure. Why not.

I guess since I am here, and the climate control just kicked in,

This is V's favorite quote from his email!

I should get to the stuff I was unable to look at yesterday. Wow, so all you can talk about is work related. No thanks!

Hope you have a great day and that we get together again soon :)

So . . . I don't think I'll be seeing him again. I haven't responded yet. I feel kinda bad, but I can't decide how to respond. I think I'm just going to let it drop. Besides, I had too much going on this week. Stay tuned. I'll have enough material to make up for the fact that I haven't written.

Wow!

2005-10-03T23:00:00.000-04:00

So, tonight I had the longest and shortest date so far. Let me see if I can accurately depict the evening . . .

We were meeting at a place right near where I work, but somehow it still took me almost 20 minutes to get there. Don't ask! So I get there late and he's sitting there waiting for me. Traffic was a valid excuse. When I walked up, I honestly did not recognize the boy. He was wearing glasses and looked much dorkier than he did in the pictures. He had Harry Potter type glasses. I'm not the type to judge solely on appearances, so I must say that he looked much much dorkier by the end of the evening due to the addition of personality to the list.

Ok, so I'm sure that you are all anxiously awaiting the blow by blow excitement . . . . Unfortunately for both of us, it was quite a let down. I've met 6 guys now and this guy is the first to actually bore me and make me feel uncomfortable. For any of you who do not know what it is like to spend time with someone who has a clearance, people with clearances tend to find topics unrelated to work to discus. Somehow we spent almost the ENTIRE time talking about work. I do not understand how that happened. I rarely talk about work with someone I don't know and honestly rarely talk about work in general. This guy, who I will call Jimmy, told me all about his presentation review that lasted all day. Not only did he tell me once, but he retold the story several different ways. Just different details each time. Oh, and the differences were insignificant and not interesting. But I endured it. He had this really nervous habit where he kept rubbing his hands together. So, here I am trying to ignore the fact that he's obviously nervous, but I can't. Well, I'm hoping that he was just nervous at least. What killed me though were the awkward pauses. I mean, here we were and the only topic we discussed was work and every time there was a pause, he would go back to talking about work. I tried asking him about his weekend and got nowhere with that one either. All he did was work on his thesis. Ok, that's great, but did that lead him to ask about mine? NOPE! I was really really really trying to help the boy, but it just wasn't working! At one point he did mention his family and how he really misses being at home with his mom. After all, he was only away from home for grad school and now that he's in DC (he's been here for 6 months). So, yeah, let's add momma's boy to the description. He definitely does not reflect independence and self-confidence by any stretch of the imagination.

So, after sitting through some terribly boring conversation that lasted through dinner, through paying the check (he did pay) and quite a bit after (man, I was definitely wishing that the place was more crowded and that we needed to be kicked out or something), we finally left. We chatted a bit more and all I wanted to do was to run to my car screaming. I tend to be a very affectionate person, but I couldn't even bring myself to shake his hand. I jumped into my car and reached for the phone. "V, I was out with Jimmy!!!!!" And that's all I had to say.

So now what? I feel as if I should give him a second chance, because it is possible that I just make the boy nervous. But the last thing I need is to have this poor guy latch onto me. He lives right down the street from where I work. Even the very first date that I had back in the day wasn't as bad as this. Army boy I could have at least been friends with, but luckily he was smart enough to realize that there just weren't any sparks and we left it at that. Not sure about this one. The question remains, do I see him again?

Sleep well my friends. Time for bed.

Theory of the Sexes 101

2005-09-27T23:10:00.000-04:00

I received some enlightenment this afternoon and feel as if I should pass it on. I was introduced to a theory that I suppose some of you may already know.

I was sitting outside and discussing the boundaries of friendship with one of my male coworkers. I had brought up the issue of male/female friendships and how I don't have any problem with being friends with someone even if they have a crush on me as long as they don't think that I'm leading them on. I try to be quite clear about my feelings. I'm not a big fan of playing games. So here is the ladder theory that my coworker introduced me to.

Females have 2 ladders. One ladder is the friendship ladder while the other ladder is the love ladder. Guys fall on one or the other for females and this is determined early on in the relationship. Guys have a hard time understanding this structure, because they only have one ladder. Their ladder is the love ladder and all girls they meet end up on it.
Now, there are guys who know that they are on the friendship ladder, but still attempt to make the jump to the love ladder. The chance that the jump will be successful is very very small and they end up simply jumping. They find themselves then on neither ladder. The other issue is what happens when a guy attempts to jump from the love ladder to the friendship ladder? Is that possible? or do they too just end up on neither?

The other new term I learned recently was the "craigslist secret". Everyone has a reason why they are using online dating and craigslist in particular in this case. I must say that ever since I heard that term, I've been contemplating what people's secrets are. Including what my craigslist secret is. Here's what I've come up with so far (I'm only examining people that I continued to correspond with): Old Town Boy just didn't like the area and was looking for a reason to like it without really wanting to. Navy Boy was in love with someone he never thought he could have and hoped that finding someone else would get him past her. Funny Boy is disillusioned in the love/relationship department. That's about all I have so far. Mine I'm not sure about either. I suppose it is my search for a rebound guy. After Navy Boy, maybe I don't need this any more. Time will tell.

Ok, time for bed. Good night!

Short update

2005-09-26T20:15:00.000-04:00

Ok, time for another update. I know, not nearly as much fun as the editorials, but it keeps you up to date on the more positive ones or at least the fish I actually tend to.

I'm sure this first little bit is going to be contrary to most people's advice, but such is life. I know that Navy Boy said that he wanted to be friends and most people told me to make it a clean break and just move on. He's not worth the time and the future drama (potential at least). Well, he's good and his timing was perfect. During my 3.5 hour drive home just as boredom was setting in and ironically when I was driving very close to his house, he sent me a text to see how my injured knee was doing and to see if I needed anything. It seemed incredibly sweet and worth a response. Since I was in the car, I gave him a call back and chatted for a bit. He is really a good guy, but everything happens for a reason, so we'll see.

Email Boy and I still send multiple emails per day back and forth. It's fun and entertaining. We had hoped to get together this past weekend on my way back to Virginia, but I didn't leave PA early enough and it ended up that he was at his family's place anyway, so it didn't work out. I have, however, invited him to join in on a small dinner party that I will be having for some of my college friends this weekend. I've met some of his friends, so it seems appropriate. He said he'd try to come.

From the new ad, I have 3 new boys. I'm trying to find good names for them though. My lack of creativity with "Email Boy" should not be repeated. Let's see . . .

Ok, first one is Funny Boy. All email exchanges with this one carry a bit of bantering. I must say that we seem to have a compatible sense of humor. I actually gave the boy my cell phone number and he tried to call this weekend just as he said he would. We'll see if I get a chance to talk to him tonight.

Second one is Media Boy. He works for a Media company, so I'm being lazy. He's a very well traveled person. Seems like a really good person in general.

Third is Midwest Coffee Boy. He only went to Grad school in the Midwest, but I must say that he "looks" like he could be from the Midwest. He's originally from Boston though. But this boy brings up coffee lots. Granted, I did express my "love" for coffee in my last ad, but he seems very excited about it. May meet up with him for coffee this week. We'll see.

Ok, that's the quick update. I'll try to post something more interesting or at least more entertaining next, but now you're up to speed.

Ahh . . . The dumping . . .

2005-09-23T20:59:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I figured something was off with Navy boy, but now I'm truly happy that I put up that second ad. Here's a correspondence that I had with Navy boy today.

Getting to know you and spending time with you has been so great but something has recently happened that I wish would have happened a month ago. First I should tell you some background though.

Good Lord, this CAN'T be good!

About 7 years ago I met this girl in Texas before leaving for the Navy and we were crazy about each other.

I can see where this is going.

When I got stationed in San Diego a few months later I found out that she had moved only 3 hours away. It seemed like we were suppose to be together. After a few months of dating and one false alarm pregnancy we decided that things were getting serious and thought about marriage. She told me she wanted to be with me forever. I was happy but she then told me she didn't want to go to college, I began to see myself marring someone that would expect
me to take care of them, and wouldn't work. I have always wanted a partner instead of a dependent, so I broke it off.

Ok . . .

So the reason I am telling you this is because I want you to understand.

Ah, this is where the understanding comes in . . .

She has just come back into my life again and it feels almost like fate. I don't want to miss my chance this time. I hope you understand.

WOW!

I don't know if you want to remain friends but I would hate to lose you as a friend.

This is the second time this year I have heard that line. I don't want to lose you as a friend. Umm, last time I checked, we weren't just friends. So really, there's a transition to make, not just retaining a friendship. GREAT!

I am sorry things can't progress any further.

Well, at least he was honest. Or is he just using method #5? Either way, I'm too naive/idealist to be upset. So my response . . .

I'm happy for you. I wish you all the luck.
Wish you had mentioned it a bit sooner. Like Monday perhaps. Seeing as these feelings probably haven't changed since you left Texas. Not sure about where to go from here. I wouldn't really say that we have a "friendship" base and I'm already trying to make that transition with one person. Let's keep in touch, but I'm not sure where I'm willing to go from here.

Well I didn't know till last night that I had the opportunity to get back with her.

That does make me feel a bit better.

I have had these feelings for years.

Which means that he really wasn't emotionally available anyway. How much would it suck to find out way down the line that the guy your with is still in love with someone else. You know, like AFTER you are married. So, everything happens for a reason, right?

Thank you for being understanding though and I hope to continue talking with you.

Ah, the joys of the dating world. Again, at least he was honest and it happened early on. But just as a note, this stuff can happen through online dating or otherwise. So it's not a reason to give up on this method. And since I've started chatting with 3 guys from my new ad and I still have Email boy from before, I'm still in good shape :o)

Sorry this post was so long.

Another fun one

2005-09-21T23:08:00.000-04:00

Before I jump into my editorial, I must confess that I am finding that I am VERY female. I've caught myself doing all the girly things that I thought I'd never do. You know, worrying about whether he'll call or not. I totally was not prepared to be this involved. Darn boy! Anyway, what you really want . . .

Here is another response I received.

Are you a woman that likes fine dining,

Sure!

candlelit dinners,

Of course. What woman doesn't?

moonlit walks on the beach,

:o) Most definitely, but where is this leading?

water,

? Do you mean to drink? Or oceans? Or rivers? To be on the water or in the water? Being a little vague there.

beaches,

As opposed to walks on the beach I suppose. Is it really something to repeat in this sentence that is getting to be quite long?

jacuzzi's,

I don't believe that's how you plauralize Jacuzzi, but yes, they are wonderful!

travel,

Umm, that one I already said that I liked in my post.

sports,

Again, a bit vague in comparison to some of these statements.

quiet eveings at home in front of a roaring fireplace

Oooo definitely! I wish I had a fireplace.

and most important being spoiled by that special someone.

That would be nice! But the sentence was so long, that you forgot you were asking a question. Actually, I almost forgot too.

Do you believe that communication,trust and honesty ,good sex

Ok, not what I was expecting. Reading a sentence, I don't tend to follow communication, trust and honesty with sex, but ok.

are some of the most important keys to a good relationship.

I do, however, agree.

Tell me something about you!

Actually, I have told you something about me. Remember, it is MY ad that you are responding to. Funny, I don't know anything about you yet!

If this is you and you would like to talk please respond. I hope to hear from you soon.

Ok, won't be responding to that one. I have this funny thing where I want to know a bit more instead of being questioned. And really, what woman does that not fit? Lack of a picture is also a turn off. Sorry buddy, but you're supposed to be doing some of the work here too.

I suppose everyone is trying to be creative so that they stand out as well, but that's a bit too generic and too exhausting to read. It could have been effective if he'd worded it correctly. His loss.

Ok, too late now. Good night.

You have been waiting . . .

2005-09-20T20:25:00.000-04:00

Last night I was slightly too distracted to post anything. I had a wonderful night with Navy Boy :o)

Now for one of the responses from the new ad.

This one I just got today, but it was too good not to share. I'll return to earlier responses at a later date.

Hi,

Is there anything wrong with letting u know that you have fund

Fund? As in Funded? Oh wait, you mean FOUND?

your match?

I suppose not, but are you implying that you are my match? Quite an assertive way to start off.

The person who is going to be there for you all the time, the person who is going to care, love, listen, the person who has sense of human

sense of human? Ummm . . . what does that mean? You're not an animal? I suppose you really mean sense of HUMOR.

and the person who is going

insert to

treat you like a queen and make you feel like a woman.

I love to kiss, have your bodies pressed together,

your bodies? Does he think that there is a third person here?

breasts touching, chests moving up and down with each other,

Getting a bit explicit, aren't we?

kiss your nape, neck, nibble and your shoulders.

Umm . . . WHAT? What are you trying to say here? Apparently you don't know the parts of the body in English either! Kinda ruins the flow.

Want to lay you down on the bed and make her

her? Now we're back to having a third person? Or are you female?

scream from the inside out with unbridled passion and to make you want more and more until you can no longer take the pleasure.

Does this nonsense really work for people? I didn't realize that my ad could stir such feelings. :o) Yeah, a bit over the top buddy. And you're my match? I don't think so.

I am not interested in a one night stand,

Could have fooled me.

but in a long lasting relationship and relationship.

Again, does that mean there are three people here? a long lasting relationship and relationship? Or is he/she under the impression that a long lasting relationship is different than a relationship? Why am I suspicious that there was an online translation tool involved in this?

I am 6'4' tall, sweet, genuine, stable, sincere, honest and funny.

please email me let get to know each other better

Wow, now there's another winner of a sentence. I guess this time you just missed the 's.

After last time, you would think that I had learned my lesson and specified in my ad that fluency in English is a must. But these are definitely some of the more amusing responses. The commentary is just so much more fun.

Well, that's tonight's post. Hope you enjoyed. And good night.

New stories to come

2005-09-19T01:24:00.000-04:00

I decided that I needed more material and more entertainment, so I decided to post another ad. This time I took a different approach. It has a very different tone and no picture. Amazingly in 2 days I received about 35 responses and only one them was a repeat which also surprised me. I'm curious to see how long I get responses without a picture being posted. I received my last response from my previous post right before the ad expired. I'll post some creative commentary later. In a bit, I have to go pick Navy boy up from the airport. He's back from Texas!!!

Have a good night!

Random Rant.

2005-09-14T00:41:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I found myself having a conversation with two of my co-workers about how to break up with someone. Then, today, I notice that MSN was featuring a column about the 6 different ways to break up with someone along with the pros and cons associated with each option.

The six options are:
1) The "we need to talk" talk
2) The un-love letter
3) The vanishing act
4) The time-out tactic
5) The ex-factor
6) The send a messenger method

I couldn't believe that the 6th option actually made the list. Do people these days really send a friend to break up with you? That is just plain sad!

And the 5th option suggested that claiming to be getting back together with an ex worked as well. I wonder if that really makes the "break-up" easier. I guess I would add in the uncertain about my sexuality excuse there too. As a straight female, I'm not sure if I'd rather hear that the guy was getting back with his ex or that he realized he was gay. And would either of them truly be better than just admitting that there was no real future for the relationship. I'd say this option definitely lacks closure. Valid option if it's true, but sad if it is all a lie.

The 4th option is well known to all. "I think we should take a break". "This isn't a break up, just a break". This, the author claims, provides a transition period for the dumpee. Has a break really ever led to anything other than a break up?

As for the 3rd option, I find that the "vanishing act" is very common. I've noticed that in online dating, it is widely accepted. Of course, this works in the early stages without a problem. I've done it myself. Just stop emailing the person. But after a number of dates, I think it is time to grow up and be a bit more mature. This option has a time and courtesy factor associated with it.

The 2nd option is more mature than the others, but the non-confrontational form. Writing a letter/email does allow you to get all of your thoughts and feelings out without the situation turning into a fight. I can't really imagine ending something serious without following up the letter with a conversation, but as long as it is a real letter, I suppose it is a valid option.

Of course, "the talk". This is where you get to have the "let's just be friends" discussion (and honestly, being "just friends" rarely works, but once in a while it works out) or "it's not you, it's me". This is the interactive approach. Definitely not easy, but most mature. Of course, this is where you find yourself arguing the decision. Honestly, I hope that I can avoid that portion. If it comes to the point where someone doesn't want to be with me, I hope that I respect myself enough to move on and find someone who does.

One thing that the article did not address was the method where you just make the other person break up with you. A very popular tactic from my conversations with people. If you annoy the other person enough, they'll break up with you and you're all set, because you're no longer the bad guy. In reality, not such a bad idea. I suppose it hurts the other person less and leaves them feeling empowered. But if the other person resorts to the same tactic, the game could go on endlessly.

I'm not sure which way is the best way to break up with someone. It's one of those things where you're not out to hurt the person, but it is inevitable. The question is how brave are you to end it before you've wasted too much time preparing to do it. Leading someone on is not fair to either of you.

So here's hoping that I find someone willing to break up with me face to face if it's not working out.

Another Update

2005-09-12T23:20:00.000-04:00

Sorry again for the lack of posts. It's been an exhausting couple of days.

Old Town boy is pretty much out of the picture as any sort of potential other than a very casual friendship. Haven't heard from the boy since he called to see if I could pick him up from the airport on Labor Day. I wasn't able to pick him up, because I was still out of town. I felt bad, because I had offered to pick him up, but he had definitely given me the impression that I was the LAST resort and that wasn't a good enough reason to be sure I was back in VA. I'm not going to write him off, because he's in the process of moving and making lots of trips to Chicago. What can I say, I'm forgiving.

Navy boy is definitely high in the ranks at the moment. I saw him twice last week and both times it went very well. After I had seen him on Tuesday, he sent me an email and said that he wanted to see me again "sooner as opposed to later". Point. Well, Wednesday night one of my friends picked up this waiter and invited him to meet up with us at our favorite place since we already had plans to meet someone else there. So, I decided that I would invite Navy boy. Mind you, I invited him to drive an hour to see me and my friend and the guy she picked up. So it was set up as a "double date". I didn't expect him to join us, but he jumped at the idea. Point! The waiter ended up bailing on us, so he and I met up for dinner first. Then we met up with my friend and it was one of those "who is the third wheel" situations. Amazingly, it seemed very balanced. It went very well. A huge plus for Navy boy :o) And, he paid for everything without the slightest bit of hesitation. He even paid for my friends dinner, since she ate when she met up with us after we had had dinner. Another huge plus. After we walked my friend to her car, he walked me to mine. Then he effectively asked for the night to continue. Man, this guy is smooth. Guys could definitely learn a thing or two from him :o) Since I was tired, I invited him back to my place to chat for a bit. He was catching an 8am flight out of National and didn't want to drive back to Baltimore first. So we chatted and ended up hanging out til 4:30am. I paid for it big time on Friday at work. I can't do the college thing and only get 2 hours of sleep any more. BAD idea. He said lots of cute things throughout the night, so many many more points for the boy. Now he's in Texas though and I leave for the weekend on the day he gets back in town. So sad. We'll see how things progress from here.

I finally met Email boy on Sunday. I stopped by his house to watch part of the football game with him and his friends. I had a good time. It was a very comfortable situation. I felt like I knew the guy for ages and his friends didn't act like I was a new addition at all. It was nice. I'm not sure if/how this will progress, but my fear of losing my email-buddy is gone. We're still emailing plenty :o)

I mentioned earlier that I'm a very forgiving person. Perhaps too forgiving. I emailed stood-me-up-for-lunch boy yesterday. I felt that he deserved to know what he had done wrong. So I told him that he was too aggressive basically and came across as desperate and that he had two very big strikes against him for standing me up and not following up soon enough. Well, he responded with a very appreciative email. Then he went on to invite me out for coffee with "no strings attached" and "no expectations". He just wants to get together and chat since I seem like an interesting person. Like I said, I'm too forgiving, so I'll probably meet up with him. I know, I know.

Ok, so that's the update. Good night.

One liners

2005-09-08T01:53:00.000-04:00

Have you noticed how the dating world has changed? I'm not just commenting on online dating, but pick up lines in general have progressed to new levels. I must say, I laughed at one of my friends when he asked a girl at a club for her number and actually wrote it on his arm. Talk about old-school :o) But he got it. I don't recall if they ever got together after that, but I thought it was clever.

When a guy asks for your number in a bar, he'll pull out his cell phone and program you in. And if you're "lucky", he'll call you right away to see if your cell phone rings. Girls, no more fake numbers, or just be clever enough to keep your phone hidden at all times. Or, he'll give you his and ask you to call him right then so that he has yours as well. The trick is to claim that you don't have your phone on you and actually get him to write it down for you. Much safer! I have watched people in bars exchange email addresses. I have actually done that myself before. A friend and I were out and we met this random guy in a bar. Chatted for a bit and exchanged email addresses. Granted, this was during a road trip and it was on completely friendly terms (not romantic), but all the same.

To come full circle to online dating (which is quite progressive in and of itself ), here are some of the "one liners" that I received.

nice profile. care to chat on yahoo messenger Ok, so my "profile" has WAY more info than you've given me. Seriously, that was ALL that guy wrote.
Hey whats up? I just saw ur craigslist post....do uhave aim or yahoo? Yet again. Of course I have aim. Do I use it? Not so much.
where originally from in pa? HAHAHA! Wow. Now there's a whole lot of incentive for me to write back. Let's see, if I put in a proportional effort, that ends in reading it.
hey, just saw your add on craig's list, so I thought I'd say hi. I'm pretty new to the area so I need to meet some new people! How are ya? :) A bit more effort on this one. But all I know is that you are new to the area. At least with this one I got a couple of pictures.
Your profile looks really interesting. Can I know some about u ? I live in VA (Arlington )... Ok, so besides the fact that you can't speak English properly, you already know WAY more about me than I know about you. Blows me away!
hello, wanna go get a drink? Very direct. At least he didn't write "hello, wanna f*ck?"

Well, that's enough for tonight. Good night.

Sorry for the dry spell!

2005-09-07T02:57:00.000-04:00

Sorry for the lack of entries over the past few days. Ok, so really the past week. Vacation time, you know. Kinda sorta vacation anyway. I just got back into town this morning and I just got back to my apartment for the first time since Thursday evening and it is after 11pm Tuesday night. So I am playing on your sympathies for forgiveness. With that said, I am TIRED and will make this an update email.

Out of all of the emails that I have gotten, I am down to three guys.

1) Old Town boy
2) Navy boy
3) Email boy

You know the story about Old Town boy for the most part. He hasn't put in as much effort as of late and I'm not exactly sure what I think. But he is cute and he is fun, so I'm not writing him off. We met up last Wednesday for a couple of hours, but it wasn't quite as exciting as the past two times. Of course, he was EXHAUSTED, but he still came out to see me. So I have to give him some leeway here. But not enough to give up other options.

Navy boy is from middle-of-nowhere Texas. And I really mean middle-of-nowhere. Found out tonight that his town doesn't even have a stop light. WOW! I finally met up with him tonight. He drove out to see me. He just transitioned to day shift, so it was a bit easier to work in a coffee. I hadn't realized, but he lives up near BWI at the moment (just sold his house up there) and it's going to take him an hour to get home. YIKES! Now I know why he was relying on last minute dates. Terribly inconvenient. But he's working to move into DC, so that's cool. Much better situation. He seems like a fun guy. I'm too tired to be terribly excited about it though. So I have to wait til the next date to figure out how I truly feel. And there will be a second date. He politely asked me when we could get together again. Of course, he's leaving to go to Texas for a week starting Friday, so it'll be a while before I see him again. It'll be interesting to see if he calls or emails while he's gone. I'm definitely intrigued though. I must say, I was quite shocked when he asked for a second date. I'm definitely not in good shape at the moment. It was a very long day after a very long weekend. I know, it was vacation, but I always pack my vacations too full and need a vacation when I get back. Oh, and did I mention that I woke up in PA, ran errands, went running, drove to work (3 hour drive), worked 6.5 hours, picked friends up at the airport, then had the date? Yeah, I'm pretty well fried at the moment. The point, however, is that in my less than optimal form, he was still interested. So that's a good sign :o)

Email boy. There's a guy that I've been emailing back and forth with several times a day since I put the ad up pretty much. He has been very good about making an effort to throw in a German phrase or two when he can. It's cute. He's had an incredible number of and variety of experiences. We haven't managed to make any concrete plans to get together yet, but that has to do partially with me being out of town every weekend. Not terribly conducive to making plans. Maybe this weekend . . . I really do like talking, well, emailing the boy. He's very kind and very entertaining. He did, however, challenge Mad Mex. Mad Mex is where I get my favorite Margaritas. He believes that he can make a better one and claims that he can cook very well. So we'll see. Maybe I'll get an official invitation to dinner. He has also offered to teach me how to play tennis. Which he also claims to be good at. Multi-talented man. (hmmm, that's probably a better name for him, but I'll have to actually meet him before I start to use that one. At the moment, I suppose it is all talk.) One odd characteristic is his aversion to sweets. Anything sweet. Not sure about that :o)

Just for info sake, I wrote off stood-me-up-for-lunch boy. He was getting way way way too pushy. That desperation thing was coming out. Not sure I would want him to have my cell phone number. Definitely glad that I didn't give it to him.

Ok, I need to sleep!!!! Good night.

An end to the suspense

2005-08-30T22:20:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I've been pressured into this next post. I didn't intend to keep you all in suspense awaiting my second "best of" entry, but I suppose I have. So here is the other response that just blew me away! I honestly don't know if this one or the 50 year old is worse.

Subject: Lets have some fun:)

This is where I should have stopped reading, but I will freely admit that I am VERY naive. So stick with me here.

Hi there:)

This guy really likes smiley faces. Again, should have taken the hint.

My name is M im 26 ..6ft 195lbs...short brown hair and blue eyes...I live in the Fairfax area.

Guess I'm not getting a picture from this one. Fairfax area means he's 'close by'.

Anyways I read you add

Ok, I'm trying to be nice, but replacing 'your ad' with 'you add' is a bit much. Are we doing math here or what?

and saw your pic (very cute)

well thank you.

...so let me cut to the chase...

Oh Good Lord. Yet again, this can't be going anywhere I want to be going.

I t said you would try anything once, so I was wondering if you would be willing to help me out:)

What on Earth is he hoping for here?

I have the fantasy

uh oh. Did he really just start off a sentence saying that he has a fantasy and link that to wanting me to help him out. Now this should get good . . .

to have a woman watch me Masturbate:)

HAHAHA! Is he really going to ask me to watch him Masturbate!?!

...If you respond back we can iron out the details...

Details? Man, this guy really has this all planned out and he really thinks I might respond? Wow!

you could watch in private

You mean that it is possible for it NOT to be in private?

...or publice (as long as it safe)

WHAT!?!

...so if you want to watch (pleaseeee)

Is this guy begging?

then email me back

Yeah right!

...we dont even have to make contact (if u dont want) you could sit in your car and just watch me do it in my car:)....

Good Lord!!!! That is just way too much for me!!! Where is it we would park at? In front of the 7eleven? How would me sitting in my car next to him in his car do anything. Wait, I DON'T want to know.

Email and let me know,

ummmm . . . NO!

So, how does that one compare?

Though I keep posting the ridiculous responses, I must reiterate that there have been some really good guys too. A couple of whom I am keeping in touch with. But it's the absurd ones that make the better posts. I'm sure you will agree.

Portfolio to follow

2005-08-29T21:45:00.000-04:00

If you want to talk about form letters, this is it. I mean, this guy is pathetic!

Good Evening,

I am a 20 year old young man from Berryville, Virginia looking to meet a significant other very soon.

Did you just say 20 and looking for a significant other VERY soon. First, did you miss the part about me being 25? Guess I should have specified that anyone responding had to be at least of drinking age. At least he's legal I suppose.

I currently am employed with HIS in Reston, Virginia as a Sr. Network Engineer /Exchange Administrator for the company, among helping to oversee Field Network Operations with light travel involved. I also began attending ITT Technical Institute and looking forward to seeking my AssociateÂs Degree in 2 Â½ years from now with a focus in Computer Network Systems. I enjoy what I do a lot.

At least the boy is motivated and likes his job. Definitely important assets. But still . . . .

My perfect match would have the qualities of outgoing, loving, caring, genuine, loving to animals, and most of all, mature. The match

"The match", does that mean he doesn't care if he ends up with man, woman, child or beast? Talk about impersonal!

as well should have a sense of personal direction, well defined goals and a structured view of personal achievements.

Overall good person. Would consider myself a good fit, but not "the match".

To re-iterate what my profile says,

What his profile says? I haven't read your profile. No clue what you are talking about.

I don't smoke, don't do drugs, never have and never will, and I don't drink. The reason I have not done any of the above is that I have had security clearances before and you can get it suspended for doing any of the above.

Very true. My first thought is that drinking isn't a problem, but then I realized underage drinking is. Again, emphasis on underage!

The reason I write to you today is that your ad has caught my eye based on one or more factors, location, description, and personal details posted in the ad. A picture is attached.

I look forward to hearing from you soon in regards to my interest in meeting and or communicating in a more personal fashion, I'm beginning to believe this guy is a robot or something. Communicating in a more personal fashion than what? preferably at first via e-mail, which for me is email1 or email2. I also have Yahoo Messenger, email3@yahoo.com, in addition I also have AOL Instant Messenger, which I can be contacted on [some other form of contact]! Wow. The boy IS connected.

With Interest & Truly, yeah, whatever! Oh, and the part that followed this was a scanned in signature! Where on Earth is this boy from?!? By the way, he is a rather normal looking white boy. Doesn't even look terribly dorky. Believe it or not.

Like I said before, it definitely is worth keeping my ad up just so that I can get more material :o) This guy was out of control! I'm not sure if it was he or I that was the one applying for a job :o)

Lazy day post

2005-08-28T23:17:00.000-04:00

Ok, so here is my lazy day post. Sorry for copping out, but it's an alert I think you should read. And I need to get myself ready for another week since I was out of town once again. Please read.

Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties and local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink from any woman.

hmmm . . . Haven't heard about this. Are the tides truly turning?

Many females use a date rape drug on the market called "Beer"

hahaha. Should have known this wouldn't be serious.

to target unsuspecting men. The drug is generally found in liquid form and is now available almost anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, from taps, and in large "kegs."

Beer is used by female sexual predators

Guys, don't get yourselves too excited now.

at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and have sex with them. Typically, a woman needs only to persuade a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no strings attached sex.

Don't think that the beer is even necessary if that's the case. No strings attached? What man would pass that up?

Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several beers, men will often succumb to desires to perform sexual acts on horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.

Ah . . . Beer Goggles.

After drinking Beer men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened feeling that "something bad" occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as

Dun Dun Dun

"A Relationship."

It has been reported that in extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as "Marriage."

YIKES! Men, beware!

Apparently, men are much more susceptible to this scam after beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

Please forward this warning to every male you know. If you fall victim to this insidious Beer and the predatory women administering it, there are male support groups with venues in every town where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter in an open and frank manner with similarly affected, like-minded guys. For the support group nearest you, just look up "Golf Courses" in the yellow pages.

Ok, probably doesn't compare to my last post at all, but I'll post another good one tomorrow.

But as a short update, here is the latest email that I got from the guy who stood me up for lunch the one day.

This weekend turned out to be horrible for me! I got mugged in DC, I got the worse luck. I'm beat up pretty bad I hope you don't mind seeing me with bruises. LOL I'm glad all they took was my wallet and not my life however they did come close to putting me in the hospital. Anyways let me know how your weekend went!

This guy is starting to concern me. When I told him on Thursday that the "date" was off this weekend because I decided on a last minute trip to Pittsburgh, he tried to move it up to Friday, then to Thursday (aka, that night). He's getting pretty pushy! We'll see.

Per request

2005-08-25T23:37:00.000-04:00

A co-worker and friend requested today that I provide a few of the more 'off the wall' responses I have received. So here it goes . . .

This guy obviously did not get the picture of what I was saying in my post. . .

Neediness is something I understand....

That's good, because so do I. And I'm not interested in any more of it in my life.

most of us have it under control but many of us recognize that in certain areas...conversation, companionship and sex...

Say what?

our needs are bottomless...so why not explore our respective needs and discover how they might match...

hmmm . . . matching needs? not sure about this.

I'm mid-50s

WHAT!?!?!? Can you not do math? I'm less than half your age

!!!!

, 6ft tall, lots of saltnpepper hair, wire rimmed glasses, hazel eyes, slow hands

You kidding me?

, talented tongue

GOOD LORD!

, well hung

OH HEEELLLLLL NO!

, energetic, considerate and passionate...somehow I sense we might have more than a few things in common

Like what may I ask you?

--at least we share the desire to find a friend and lover who melts us but doesn't own us--somebody who you can share all your inner sesnusal and erotic desires with--and who wants to please you because we give pleasure as a gift... I am very interested in hearing from you...and I'd like to talk....for now//DrR

ummmm . . . NO! This is just wrong on so so so many levels!

I have another one that definitely makes the "best hits list", but I'll save that one for next time.

Smiling!

2005-08-25T03:53:00.000-04:00

This will be a short post, because I really need to get some sleep, but here are some random updates.

Remember the boy who racked up all those points in a previous post? Let's call him Old Town boy from now on. He may be in a number of future posts if all goes well. Well, I just got back from my second date with him. Unfortunately, he had to work late, so we ended up meeting 3 hours later than planned. :o( But to make up for it, he did drive out to my neighborhood to see me. Then we spent some time hanging out at Reston Town Center. Unfortunately since we didn't get there til 9:30, we didn't have much time before Cosi closed. After we finished up there around 10:30, we walked around a bit, then found a bench to sit down at and just chat for a while. At midnight, I figured I should really get to bed so that I could get myself to work tomorrow. Well, today technically. So, he walked me back to my car and said good night. So yes, here I sit writing with a smile on my face. Darn work, I could have stayed there for another couple of hours easily. And he's going to be out of town this weekend :o(

However, I have a few potential dates to fill that time. I did decide to go out with the boy who stood me up for lunch. He's been persistent enough to deserve a date. We're meeting up for lunch on Sunday. If he blows this one, then no question. I'm only giving two strikes. Don't have time or desire to give more.

Russian surfer boy from NYC also wanted to get together, but we haven't set any real plans, so I don't believe that one will happen, but it's a potential.

There is also a Navy boy who wanted to get together this past Monday or Tuesday, but he didn't mention anything until Monday and Tuesday. Not interested in being a last minute fill-in. Sorry. But since he works odd shifts, I'm not sure if I'll actually see him or not. We'll see.

So many options. . . But I must say, Old Town boy seems to be the best bet so far. I just feel as if I should give these other boys a chance as well. Besides, I need more material to keep you all entertained! :o)

Yet another good one.

2005-08-24T00:46:00.000-04:00

Well, well, it appears as if my ad is STILL getting hits. Yet another response that is blog worthy. Enjoy.

hi there,

something about your post just captured my attention like no other posting has ever.

ok, this one should be good.

i mean you just have a way with words. your sentences are so simple and well written yet they say so much about you.

Should I be insulted? or take this as a compliment?

from your post i can tell you are very open person and eager to meet new people.

open and eager? Where could this be leading? Should I be concerned?

i know you have posted in the women seeking men, but would you consider meeting women as well. not that i am one, just wondering.

Meeting women as well? This is where I should be concerned. I'm well aware of the 2 women, 1 guy fantasy that most men seem to have.

okay may be i should introduce myself. my name is m. i am from turkey. i came to US about 3 years ago for graduate school. luckily i was able to get a job in Maryland after graduation and move down here. i went to school in Pennsylvania as well. so we have that in common. i got my MS in aerospace engineering from Penn state. i bet you have heard of Penn state.

Of course I've heard of Penn State. It is IMPOSSIBLE to grow up in PA or even live in PA at all without knowing about Penn State.

its a very large university in the middle of Pennsylvania.

Thanks for filling me in on those facts though. Much appreciated.

i had a question for you how came you are seeking a unneedy guys but you are in need of a friend/partner? you have needs too? don't we all?

hahaha. Obviously missing the concept.

as far as interests goes, i really like old German movies. cause i have a huge part of my family living in Germany. and i go there to visit them often. i also love to jog and play tennis. i have to admit i do like watching TV but if its only HBO. i am at an age that i have tried a lot of things and my idea of trying new things is getting narrower by day. but here i am trying something new. emailing you. hopefully you will grace me a chance to be at your presence to grab coffee and smoke some hooka. SMOKE!?! Did you NOT read my ad? i am Muslim and i don't drink. so i can not meet you at a bar.

i am really looking forward to hearing from you.

M.

ummm . . . yeah . . . enough said!

OH, Behn, just wanted to thank you for your contribution! Love ya :o)

I just had to . . .

2005-08-22T18:14:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm back to having internet connection and just received an email that I HAVE to share.

I still have my ad up and figure that I'll leave it. I figure that it may add some interesting blog entries. You never know. And since I'm doing ok with the "bites", I figure I don't need to "repost" at the moment.

So, here's the email and my thoughts about it. It's short, so this won't take long. Oh, and I changed the name to protect the "innocent"

Hello,

My name is Bob I'm from Chile

Ok, so it seems that I have NO problem attracting the Latin boys.

and I'm 25 years old and I live now in Washington.

"live now in" uh oh . . . I don't have a problem with "foreigners", but

with my passion for reading, I must say that speaking fluent English is a pre-req. At least as far as anything more than "friendship" is concerned.

I'm economist with master and I'm working in a International organism.

"International organism". Good God, what does this boy do? I certainly hope that he didn't realize that he should be using the word organization. Or does he really mean organism? If so, what on Earth does that mean? YIKES!

My stats:5'7'' , blonde hair , brown eyes, normal body Â.I live in Geroge town...

"normal body" what do you suppose that means? Otherwise, sounds like he could be cute. You know, that whole blonde hair, brown eyes combo :o)

Tell me about you

See you , Bob

hmmm . . . not so sure about that

Ok, just had to share.

Cast Your Votes . . .

2005-08-19T18:15:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I get an extra chance to post before we lose connectivity, so I've decided to make this post interactive.

Remember the guy that stood me up for lunch the other day? Well, here was his "apology" and I would like to give you all the chance to decide whether he gets another chance. So here it is . . .

I'm so sorry, I got held up in the office and had to do a site survey at another building again. I didn't have access to internet to write to you and let you know about it. I feel bad about this, please let me make it up to you. Tell me your favorite restaurant, and we can dress up and make it a fun play dinner date. What do you think? Please write my cell number in your phone so we can communicate if something comes up. I would really like to talk to you, give me a call. Who knows you might actually like talking to me. Can't hardly wait....

So, what do you think? Should I give this guy another chance? I mean, I could take advantage of the offer for a NICE dinner. In that case, it wouldn't be a complete wash. Well, I'm awaiting input. Please give me ideas of places to go if you think I should give him the chance. This is as close to a reality blog as I'm willing to go, so enjoy it while it lasts :o)

Short Leave of Absence . . .

2005-08-18T21:45:00.000-04:00

I am currently at home helping my family move into a new house and was just informed that we lose internet connection tomorrow!!!! In this day and age, that just seems terribly unfair. And I must say that that sort of hinders the whole ONLINE dating thing :o) But it leaves the boys in suspense.

I was talking to my mom and sister as we were moving stuff into the new house and we were discussing nails and studs. A good point was made. . . If the nail goes in too easy, then there is no stud behind it. Interesting thought if you think of it in other contexts. An easy nail implies that there's no stud behind it. hmmmm . . . It does seem to fit, doesn't it?

I don't have time to take you on a tour of my other adventures at the moment, but I will pick back up on Monday when I am reunited with my computer and internet access.

The small things in life :o)

2005-08-17T22:47:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I'm discovering that there is very little order to this blog, but I hope that it is keeping you all entertained.

I've decided to share my smile this evening. I figure it is about time to put a more optimistic spin on things and put in a few good words for online dating.

Once upon a time, there was this girl who found herself intrigued by a boy and perhaps that boy seems to be intrigued with her as well :o) One of the responses that I received was from this very cute boy from Chicago. He just moved to the area and wants to meet some new people. I was impressed by his reading list. More than anything, that he provided me with the last two books that he read, the two he is reading and the next two on the list. My type of person :o) After a few emails, he asked if I was up for getting together. After a whole list of options, we decided to meet up in Old Town and take it from there. Honestly, I wasn't optimistic. I didn't even feel very certain that he would show up and after my date the previous Wednesday, I was prepared to be disappointed more than anything. I managed to get there before him, but he wasn't much behind me. He had given me pretty detailed directions about where we were to meet, so I was impressed by the effort. Just seeing him made me feel like the evening was going to be a good one. First point for the evening. Well, I ended up being right. . . .

We started off going for a bite to eat. While we waited for our table, we got drinks. Me - a margarita. Him - a Yuengling. :o) Add a point. In case you don't know Yuengling, it is a PA beer. Always a good choice for impressing someone from PA :o) He picked up the tab without a second thought. Point. After dinner we went for a walk by the waterfront. Another point. Water at night is always romantic. :o) But it didn't feel forced. Nothing awkward. Just nice. Then we went to a bar that was very chill. They had live music which we were too early for. So we sat down on the sofa and chatted til the band started. Very clever move on his part. Sat right next to each other and had to be close to hear each other over the noise. Smooth move, but also not abused. Yet another point. After the band started and we decided that it wasn't quite our speed, we went to Murphy's Irish pub. That too was a good time. Again, he offered drinks and picked up the tab. More points :o) Granted, I'm a pretty cheap date. Salad for dinner, a Margarita and a beer. After Murphy's, the night came to a close. He walked me to my car that was parked on the 2nd sublevel of the parking garage. He actually escorted me all the way to my car. Major points! I couldn't very well leave him to get to his car on his own, so I drove him to his car. Good byes in a car are always difficult. But it ended with him - "do this again?" me - "yeah". :o) Nothing more, nothing less. Perfect!

First impression, this must have been a good date, because we spent from 7pm to 1:30am together and that time over 3 places. Plenty of escape routes which is very important on a first date! Especially one that is on a Friday night. I drove all the way home with a big ole smile on my face :o) I got home that evening and wrote him a quick email saying thank you. Every day since, we have emailed each other once a day. A nice touch. And to make it better, he emails me on Tuesday night to ask about plans for the weekend. Ahhh . . . very by the book. Not too soon and not too late :o) Unfortunately, I'm out of town for the weekend, so it has to be postponed :o( So sad. I was so looking forward to seeing him sooner as opposed to later. But as a good friend reminded me, "let him pursue you". So that I did. Regardless, he puts a smile on my face :o) And that alone makes this entire online dating thing worth it :o) One successful date is more than I expected. Score one for online dating as well!

Being stood up . . .

2005-08-16T21:58:00.000-04:00

Ok, so there is still a whole lot of in between to fill in, but today I'm going to jump ahead.

First, I must say that being stood up is part of the process. It shouldn't come as a surprise. And really, it's not that bad. In a way, it really is helpful. It makes it easier to reduce your options.

Today I was stood up for a lunch date. Granted, I realized after I got to the restaurant that it was poorly planned, but I just haven't been thinking much this week. Well, for the past few weeks actually. Work has been mind-numbing to say the least. Ok, off topic. So I had a lunch date set up with one of the responders. Funny thing is that I don't have a picture of this guy yet. He wanted to wait and send me a "current" picture, because he says he has lost 20 lbs since the most recent picture he has. Well, I sent him pics of me, but have got nothing from him yet. I even sent him an email today telling him what I was wearing. So for all I know, he saw me and decided against the whole thing. Not very manly if you ask me.
This guy came across as being incredibly excited about getting to see me. That alone made me a bit uncertain. In general, correspondence has been lacking. I haven't contributed much at all since he "disappeared" for a number of days. Apparently on a business trip. I finally heard back from him when he sent me his phone number and asked me to call him. He didn't tell me anything more than that while earlier emails had much more to say. Which left me as the "aggressor" and having read a number of the dating books out there on the market at the moment, I realized that this was more work that I felt like putting into it. And that "I'm just not that into him" to begin with whether or not he's into me at all. Accepting his invitation to lunch was probably more time than I should have considered giving him, but one never knows. And I figured that I might as well explore all options. I may be pleasantly surprised. Of course, gut feeling should always be the deciding factor.
I did decide to give him a second chance though. I realized that I had forgotten to (or perhaps subconsciously decided not to) give him my phone number and I managed to leave his number at the office when I left for lunch in a bit of a hurry. Despite the fact that I stood there for 15 minutes waiting for this guy and found myself losing interest more and more by the minute. But, being that we're in DC, I gave him a slight allowance thinking that traffic may have been bad. So I sent a quick email saying that it didn't work, but maybe some other time. That was 10 hours ago. Looks like that's one more to scratch off the list.

Though this online dating thing is quite interesting, there are some flakes out there. There are good stories (one in particular) that I will share, perhaps this weekend as I should have some time on my hands while I'm at home with my family. But I must say that being 15 minutes late for a "date" definitely disqualifies you. Especially if there isn't an explanation within hours. This is just one way that you can cut down on some of the responses. Not such a bad way either.

I was also left hanging by the Russian Surfer boy that I mentioned earlier. Another one who was crossed off the list :o) So, two down and several more to go.

Saga to be continued . . .

Responses already?

2005-08-15T01:34:00.000-04:00

I'm sure you want to know the results of the post. I will disclose details a few at a time. Just to keep up the suspense. :o)

I posted my ad and started to play spider solitaire. It was 10 pm on a Thursday night (I didn't have work the next day) and I wasn't tired! So I figured I'd lull myself to sleep by playing on the computer. I checked my email not 20 minutes after I had posted my ad and I already had a response. I received 8 responses that night believe it or not. And they weren't sketchy to my surprise. And even more to my surprise, some of the guys were CUTE! Good Lord, maybe this really was worth it :o)

The first guy to respond was a Russian surfer from NYC. Yes, you read that correctly. Russian surfer from NYC who has gone corporate in Tyson's. Hahaha. He works in Real Estate now. Being new to this all, I decided that it was worth a response. He was quite offended though when I inquired as to where on Earth he goes surfing in NYC. He informed me that NYC has beaches seeing as it is on the water. We exchanged a couple of emails and he asked me to go for a drink one night after work. Well, I set a time and he was to set the place. hmmm . . . never heard back from the boy. so bubye to the Russian surfer.
Another guy who responded that night received a response right after he wrote to me, because I was unable to sleep and was sitting at my computer when he sent it. This boy was cute as well. He's a VTech grad with a degree in electrical engineering. He took a number of psychology classes which peaked my interest. Ah . . . a well rounded engineer. Beautiful. So I honestly didn't have to think twice before responding. He began his response with the whole . . . "a female computer engineer?" comment. So my response began with " another engineer who thinks outside of the box?" That one touched a nerve. Here's the response I got:

You are literally the 6th to 7th person I have heard say this

and

the disturbing

thing is that you are actually an engineer saying that.

I can see this being true for a scientist whose work is based off of the law of

physics and confined by other proven methods and laws. But as an engineer

its our job to find ways to make products more efficient and better off, which

often requires them to think "outside" the box to find a new solution.

Therefore, i think its silly when i hear friends say how they can't date

engineers because they are "stuck" in the box. LOL, so it just came as a

shock to hear that from a fellow engineers mouth.

Amazingly, the correspondence did not end there. I made my retort about having dealt with hard-core engineers in school and that social skills were not a part of the curriculums. Understood and moved on. Amazingly the emails have continued and he's even asked me to go out with him for dinner or drinks or something. We'll see if this one actually happens. I've got my fingers crossed, because he's cute and has a personality too! Time will tell.

ok, enough for now. Stay tuned and I'll continue the story

IN THE BEGINNING ...

2005-08-14T23:40:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my blog. I can't believe that I've actually set up a blog myself. Though I am a technically inclined, I don't spend much time on the internet. This blog is actually here due to the prodding of a good friend :o) (visit her site at http://thetorifile.blogspot.com/) With that being said, I'll give you "the beginning" of my online dating experience. (Another internet adventure that I recently decided to embark on.)

So how did all of this begin, you may be asking yourself. Well here's the story . . .

I found myself sitting in my apartment one day after I had found myself trying to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders for 3 days straight (and all of that while dealing with major jetlag). I had spent the day sleeping off and on and was emotionally drained. But as I sat at my computer that evening, I realized how "guy-less" I felt. When I started dating a guy back in October of last year, it seemed as if the guys (friends) in my life (for the most part) disappeared or disappointed. Then, "the boy" moved away and the distance was too much. So that ended, but for some reason, the guys didn't come back. And here I sat needing someone to put their arms around me and just sit. But it seemed odd that the vast majority of people in my life at all were there because they NEED me, so when the tables turn and I NEED someone, everyone seems so far away. So I decided that I needed to meet new people. And how does one do that when they are working and spending time with the friends they already have? Well, why not try online dating? I didn't set out to find "the one", but I figured that it would at least open my eyes to who is really out there. Besides, I had never been on a "date" before. Not a REAL one at least. It was always one of those, you hang out with the person, then next thing you know you are dating. That's more of an evolving friendship as opposed to a date.

As I sat at my computer, I found myself navigating to a website and creating a personal ad. I found myself describing me and honestly, very little about what I want. Mostly because I didn't want people writing back just because they "fit" those criteria. I wanted to see how they "sold" themselves to me. You know, making them work for the results. But I did know that the last thing I wanted was someone who was looking for someone to cling to. No more needy people for me. I don't have the energy in my old age of 25. This is how it read :

Needy need not apply - 25 (this should get the point across, right?)

I'm looking to meet someone who does not demand or expect 100% of my time and understands that my life includes other people and activities. I love variety and I feel that the time has come to meet someone new. So, if that hasn't scared you off, please continue . . .

I'm 25 years old and have lived each and every day of it. I have probably done more in my life than most in their lifetimes. That's the way I like it. I will try most anything once. With the exception of any sort of drugs (including smoking and excluding alcohol and caffeine). I love travel and being active. Life is made up of experiences after all. I don't watch TV, but like watching movies. I'm not up on the latest Hollywood gossip unless I catch it on the radio on the way to work. I love music even though I don't know most of the artists or names of songs. I love to read and I base my current reading list on my friends' favorite books and recommendations. You truly learn a lot about a person by the books they read.

I'm a computer engineer who LOVES her current job working as a defense contractor. I live in Northern Virginia. I am nearly fluent in German and hope to start learning Spanish soon. I spent the first 22 years of my life in Pennsylvania.

So . . . who are you?

I figured that would get across the idea of who I am. It left room for interpretation and didn't give anyone a true in to just spit back the "what I want" characteristics that I put in my ad. Requires more work on their part. The best part of the ad is that I didn't edit it at all. Well, very little at least. I like to write that way. I figure it is the truest form of me if I just let it flow. The next step was to wait for responses . . .